Yesterday, I saw a post about depression and how people around you don’t understand the nature of this illness. While it’s essential to have the support and understanding of your loved ones, it may not be easy for them as well. Only a person who has gone through depression could actually understand the trauma. And for some of them, after getting out of an episode of depression, they may not be able to comprehend why they felt so low. Depression is tricky. It’s not like having a bad day at work or not getting something you want. It does not necessarily occur because you don’t have the necessities of life. So, when people suggest different ways- going for a movie, eating good food, meeting friends, talking it out, go shopping, or think about underprivileged people – nothing might work for a person in depression. People around you are not inconsiderate for suggesting them, though. They are just trying to find a remedy for a situation that they have no idea about. After a while, they might get tired and frustrated too. It’s nobodies fault.
In my humble opinion (just out of my experience), when you have an episode of depression, recognizing it is the key point. When you feel low, it might be due to depression, or you might be having a bad day like other people. Making the distinction is an important thing. If you feel sad because of the former, then an ice cream or movie might cheer you up. But if you are having a spell of depression, then trying to apply the ice cream or movie solution would be disastrous. That’s why I told depression is tricky.
One day you might be just sad like other people, and the next day you are down with depression. So, it utterly confuses the people around you. They will wonder why things that cheered you up two days back cannot make a change in you today. Only you can recognize what’s going on deep inside yourself. When you are successful in differentiating the commonplace mood-off or sadness from depression, you have half conquered the condition. When you have an episode, you should consider it as one and accept it and wait it out. (or go to your therapist, or talk to someone you trust).
What I mean is, the method that works for one person may not work for another. But it’s important to develop a response mechanism for depression. In my case, I have always waited it out. I try not to blast at others. I keep to myself and promise me it’s just like a cold and going to be over in a few days. I wait it out. That’s my mechanism. But, it may not work for everyone. But, the important thing is recognizing your depression and treating it in any way that you find work for you. There is no point in blaming our loved ones. They are trying everything to help you out in a situation that they have no idea about. You might need to tell them what to do or not to do while you have an episode. For that, observing your mental state and recognizing your period of depression is very important.
Once you have developed a response mechanism, then you need to move to the next step. You might need the long term changes in your lifestyle or work. Or, it might be getting out of a toxic relationship. While there may not be any particular reason for depression, you might be able to stay away from the triggers. This step isn’t easy, as it might require you some changes in your life, or will demand to get out of your comfort zone and routine. However, you cannot forever stay in the “Wait it out” phase. If you need the help of a professional to move to the next stage of the solution, do seek it. Whatever way, it’s essential to move ahead in your battle with depression.
Salini Vineeth 
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